Tuesday, 1 July 2014

All co hol......

When god invented women (refer to my previous article – Rambling 2) he was laughing at the man and generally having a good time at his misfortune.

God had created man in his own image and woman was created in the general likeness of Jackie Shroff.  Hence the almighty had a soft spot for the man and wanted to balance the wrong.

He thought all night (Even gods think , not sure about Arvind K) and decided that once created ,life cannot be taken back (however horrendous it may be).  So, the only way to correct the imbalance he had created, was to give man something which would make things tolerable.

So, the All Powerful created a divine juice and decided to call it All enCOmpassing Holistic juice (Hence forth will be referred to as booze for brevity, he he, brevity……….get it? ……. Don’t? then you are that horrendous thing that the god created to get back at man).

Men are arseholes as I have proved in several articles (Only thing my wife and I agree on).  So…..when Lord came to man and asked him to take a sip of the booze to make things more tolerable……the idiot gulped the jug down and crashed.

When he woke up again, he was acting funny. He saw that the other living thing was beautiful and very interesting.  The huge boulder thingies she had were now looking very attractive.  When she frowned, it was like she was coming on to him.  So his next few hours were very content and he did things to which even god had to turn the other way.  He did things like, washing his hands before eating, washing his ass after you know what, taking bath, etc.

Now god was disgusted.  God was on a roll messing up things, like Rahul. But god was better than Rahul, he owned his mistakes and wanted to correct them.

Abracadabra!!!! he made one more of those women thingies and made her fall in love with the man.

As soon as the two women started talking to each other, god bit his lip, gulped a jug of the booze and disappeared leaving the man to his booze and women.

Thus started the saga of vices on earth which is still going on successfully…………..